It’s just over a month to go until my wedding. I’ve been sitting here trying my very best to come up with a cohesive (and coherent) plan for the day. It’s finally time to start making some final decisions, which are always slightly headache inducing, but halfway through my plan I hit a snag. I couldn’t see any way I could be at the venue early to meet the registrar without one of the guests (or worse, John) accidentally bumping into me before my big entrance. Thankfully the situation was swiftly resolved by my venue, but it left me a little surprised at how important it felt for me not to be seen before the ceremony starts.
I’ve always been a superstitious person – I never walk over three drains, I always lift up my legs when we drive over train tracks – I never know what kind of birds I’m meant to be scared of so I just avoid all birds… so I looked into the origin of the idea that it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress. Apparently it originates from the days of arranged marriages where, if the groom saw the bride before the wedding and didn’t like her, families were afraid he’d call the whole thing off.
Hmmph.
So on the basis that it’s a rather unpleasant and silly superstition, I decided that wasn’t the reason I didn’t want to be seen before the wedding. Besides, it dawned on me that I wasn’t just worried about John seeing me – I was worried about anyone seeing me. In fact, despite the fact that my Jewish heritage dictates that John should see me before the ceremony (to check I’m the right person) the thought still knots my stomach in disappointment.
So what’s that all about?
Image © Carolyn Scott Photography – full feature here
Well, I’m going to be totally and a little embarrassingly honest. I want my big entrance. I know that sounds incredibly lame but I do – I’ll admit it, this bridal thing has really woken up my inner diva. I’m not going to go as far as this interesting lady, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t factor in how emotional my wedding music was in the hopes of everyone getting that goosebumps movie moment. And maybe there’ll be a part of me that is slightly disappointed if John doesn’t get emotional when he sees me. OK, John and everyone else…
I’ve never been someone who likes to physically be the centre of the room – I’m more of a brains over beauty girl, someone who likes to talk a lot but can’t stand the sight of herself on camera. I’ll always pick the side table in a restaurant, the back of a bus, the least conspicuous place to put myself. I’m self conscious about my walk, about my appearance – so why have I suddenly got this irrational desire to build up suspense around how I’ll look and be the centre of the room?
Well, I have absolutely no idea.
All I know is that somewhere, deep down, there’s a prima donna waiting for her big moment – and I know that she doesn’t want it ruined by the anti-climax of bumping into someone before the right time.
So there we have it, that’s my bizarre, egotistical confession. And I’m not even remotely ashamed – every girl deserves all eyes on her on her wedding day!
But I know that for many people there’s the fear of the pressure of the big entrance. Some brides choose to have a private reveal before the ceremony with just the photographer present to capture it, which can take the pressure off. Others choose to have their formal pictures taken beforehand too.
So what kind of bride are you? Are you superstitious and want to keep to tradition? Would you be sad to miss that magic moment when your partner sees you for the first time? Or do you want to take the edge off with a pre-wedding reveal? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
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I’m both! In Greek tradition the brides family (extended family.. Aunts, Uncles etc) get together at the brides house before for her own ceremony thing.
I wanted to honour this tradition as my mum is Cypriot but I had one condition… No intrigued English family or friends or neighbours were allowed. They had to wait till the church.
As it turns out the gk ceremony was a blessing as it got some of my anxiety and tension out the way and I was less of an emotional wreck walking down the aisle as I thought I would be. By that time I was comfortable with people looking at the bride me and could even smile back
win win!
As long as the boy doesn’t see me, I’ll be happy – but the idea of making an entrance is quite appealing. I am a bit of a drama queen, though
We’re getting married in a theatre so I am planning an ENORMOUS reveal involving lights and music and everything… As is my other half, who loathes the groom at the front being barracked (will she turn up etc) so he’ll be behind the curtain and then curtain up to his song before lights down, spotlight on the centre aisle!
I too had no idea this was inside me. But now I can’t wait to do it! My one worry is tripping over my dress because I have to come up onto the stage via centre stage steps – stress!
I married three weeks ago and there are so many things I worried about happening on the day, this being one of them. When I arrived at the church the church doors were open and whilst all the bridesmaids were getting in order anyone say opposite the door could see me and give me a little wave and a loving smile, it wasn’t a massive reveal to those people but it was nice to see some smiling faces before walking down the aisle! So many things I worried about before the wedding as we had everything DIY but on the day you really don’t care, no matter what happens and if things don’t go as planned it all makes for an amazing memory and your day will always be perfect to you. Don’t worry about the little things, that’s my advice xxx
Because, on your wedding day it really is all about you! (and the lovely John of course!) Enjoy your day in the spotlight!! xo
Yep, I wanted and LOVED the reveal. It may e a silly tradition but I loved it. Enjoy it, you only get to do it once! X