I’m the jealous type. It’s not easy to admit that. But quite frankly, if it were up to me, I’d have reality wiped out in favour of fervently believing I’m the only woman J’s ever laid eyes on, let alone anything else.
I’m also a horrible hypocrite – because I’m also still good friends with a few of my exes. And John, always impossibly cool and laid back, has no issue with this.
So when it comes to the wedding invites, thankfully there are no serious exes that are still in John’s life, which saved me the trouble of exhibiting my green-eyed monster and sulking like a child. But it did leave me with a twinge of guilt writing the names of people from my past on the list. I’m well aware that, had the situation been reversed, I probably wouldn’t have been quite so accepting.
So I put the question to my lovely Twitter readers – some of you answered with a very firm “hell no”. I get that. If you have a vivid imagination like mine the last thing you need is it playing silly games with you on your wedding day. Others, however, said that if you’re all friends, there’s no issue. So I figure everyone’s circumstances are different. I have, however, put together a little guide for those of you considering inviting exes to your wedding.
So folks, I’d love to hear your stories. Did you have an ex at your wedding or are you planning to? Is it a no go? And is there actually anyone out there in the world whose ex walked them down the aisle, Ross from Friends style? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
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Great post, this had me giggling! I the kind of person that when you become an ex you firmly stay an ex and i have not kept in touch with any of mine. If your partner wanted to invite an ex, as long as you know of the ex, are happy with their relationship and feel 100% comfortable with it then it shouldn’t be an issue. But if there is even a 1% niggle on your part you should tell you partner even if it causes a pre-wedding ‘debate’, after all this is YOUR day
Yep, we’ve got an ex on the list. It’s not a problem as it’s been about 15 years since the break-up and they’re now very happily married to another mutual friend. A far more recent ex will not be invited however.
My ex was an usher… and it got mentioned in the best man speech! *cringe* All funny though!
I guess it’s all about how comfortable you feel with an ex being there.
Although I had a good relationship and friendship with my ex (he was still my best friend and person I could talk to), I could not bring myself to even tell him about the wedding until the week before. I know that my DH did not want him to even know, let alone invite him. I dont think that having an ex there is a problem but you both have to be 100% happy about it and make sure that you talk it through again and again.
I guess I can’t understand why you’d stay close enough friends with an ex to have them on your invite list…. but neither me or my wife would have invited an ex!
I’m with Matt – I don’t understand how or why you would remain that close to an ex. Even if I had, or my other half had, no way they’d be there on the day. All about setting out on our new life together so no room for the past in it.
Our exes are exes for a reason. We’ve talked about them, and forgotten about them. I didn’t want to stay friends, and we both took different paths. We have the same group of friends, but we haven’t bumped into each other yet. I still see his parents around, I wave, say hi, but thats all.